India travel diary – Part 7: The Wedding

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fter a long drive, it’s quite a relief to finally arrive at the hotel where the wedding will be taking place. It’s a bit removed from the city, on a long stretch of straight and dusty road, with a couple of stores and workshops around. It’s a pretty nice hotel—especially compared to what you find in New Delhi at the same price.

Because it’s a bit remote, there aren’t any good option to eat out accessible by foot. Instead, I try out the hotel’s restaurant with Julien and Claire. There are some french-sounding dishes on the menu, so I try a Poulet Argenteuil. It’s fine, but clearly not french cuisine!

Day 1

The following day also starts with eating: breakfast is included, and pretty nice! The staff make eggs and omelettes, there’s a pretty good choice of dishes… am I talking about food too much?

Anyway, the wedding will consist of three parts:

1. Tonight, a small party at the hotel’s bar, with only family and close friends.
2. Tomorrow afternoon, the traditional ceremony.
3. Last but not least, tomorrow evening, the large outdoor banquet, in the dedicated space at the back of the hotel.

The above picture is where the ceremony will happen tomorrow morning.

All this means that I have the whole day to myself. Some people go last-minute shopping, and I need some quiet time. There’s a small gym which I’m happy to use—it’s one of the few times in my life where I prefer running on a treadmill rather than outside.

Lots of free time also means mind-wandering. And you know how it is: a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.

I need to figure out what’s next for my travel. My next destination is Thailand, where I’m going to learn to freedive and try Muay Thai (more on that later!) and then visit other countries in south-east Asia. However… I’m not feeling as enthusiastic about it now. India has drained my energy. I feel homesick.

I already changed my flight to leave three days earlier (gratitude for my past self, who had booked a flexible flight), but leaving even earlier isn’t an option for… reasons.

I’m not sure what to do.

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Evening. Time for the party! This one is casual, so I keep my usual traveler’s outfit, and go a few floors up to the bar. Not much is happening yet, but everything is set-up: lights, music, waiters and photographers are ready.

Slowly, people arrive, pictures are taken (sometimes a bit intrusively, not something I’m used to), and food and drinks are passed around.

At some point, A. (the groom), is circled by all of the women in the bride’s family, dancing around him to symbolize the transition from her family, to his (although don’t take my word for it, I’m just trying to make sense of my memories here).

It’s all very loud. Yes, I know what you’re thinking; India is loud. But this time it’s really loud, like 103dB-loud…

Even with earplugs, I need to rest my ears once-in-a-while. I’m sure there’s some ear damage among the attendees. Anyway. Everybody is dancing, except, well, you can see it for yourself…

There’s also a cake. Oh and somebody is here for the sole purpose of body painting with henna, for anybody who wishes, which you can see on Claire’s hand on the picture below.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a great recollection of this day, and forgot to take notes, which means I can’t tell you much more about it… Hopefully the pictures tell the story. And don’t forget to add very loud Indian music in your imagination!

Day 2

I wake up relatively early—maybe the breakfast is calling me—and am among the first downstairs, at the restaurant. As people I know come and go, I stay to talk to them and drink chai all the while. Probably too much chai.

Ceremony

Yesterday, we were told that the ceremony would take place at 1pm and we should be there at 12.30pm sharp (a few people laugh at that). In the mean time, I relax and do some sport.

When it’s time, I get dressed—a dark blue Kurta and white pants that I bought back in Chandigarh—and go down one floor to the ceremony area.

Under the tent, you can see two seats, side-by-side, where the bride and groom will sit. It’s also the first time we see their traditional outfits. Here’s A:

Remember the 12:30pm sharp? Well, it’s the Indian version of sharp, which allows more… flexibility. Eventually, things get going. All men are on one side of the corridor, all women on the other. Everything is quite slow and confusing, but we eventually take place on the seats around the tent.

There’s a man, specially hired for the occasion, who leads the ceremony, and speaks in Sanskrit. Which means that almost nobody would understand what’s going on, if not for the presence of a translator, which comments in Hindi, and sometimes in English so that the audience can follow.

At this point, I should mention that A and M have decided to simplify and hasten all the traditional ceremonies into just one. A few weeks earlier, M’s brother also had his wedding, but with the full ceremony. A specific point in this ceremony has to happen at sunrise, which means they had to start at 4am (and they still were late for the thing to happen at sunrise). Of course, some people fell half asleep…

I can only praise their decision, I wouldn’t have wanted to wake up in the middle of the night!

It’s hard to tell what’s exactly going on. In the square brasero, a fire is lit. Then, with repeated incantations (not sure whether this is the right word), plants and spices and stuff are thrown into the fire. Sometimes it’s the ceremony leader, sometimes the groom, sometimes the bride. Some rice is thrown on the couple. There’s also money passed around.

It continues like that, somewhat mysteriously, during an hour. Even if I don’t understand much, it’s still enjoyable to look at, especially as we are served hot chai and soup (it’s a bit cold with the fog). At the end, flowers are distributed to the audience—again, to be thrown on the newly wedded couple.

Then, tradition requires a kind of blackmail-auction-thing between a member of each family. This time it’s the shoes of A’s brother, who “has to” pay an absurd amount to get them back, and the game is that he tries to lower that price as much as he can.

After enjoying a nice buffet, we get some free time until 8pm. Here’s what I look like after the ceremony:

Banquet

It’s time for the big party! At 8pm sharp, I meet Julien and Claire at the hotel’s lobby. It’s not exactly clear where we should go, although… there is some kind of flower-tunnel along the side of the hotel, leading to the back.

At the end of this beautifully decorated “tunnel”, a picture of A. and M., and their close family. Behind, a large square of grass, maybe 50m by 50m. On two sides, food. Lots of food. Grilled meat, fried things, naan, soups, gravies, ice cream, salad, cakes, fruits…

On the side opposite the hotel, from left to right: a dance floor and DJ, a stage, and a large screen with live video from a cameraman.

It’s quite empty for now, apart from the many employees (waiters, cooks…). Actually, I learn that many people can’t come because of the fog. Driving is already really slow here, and it’s even more of a struggle in the thick fog; they would take forever to get back home afterwards.

Now with A., we are four, and start walking around. The waiters, probably eager to show hospitality, follow us (we are the first and only guests for now) and try to make us take food from their platters. The insistence pays off, I guess, as I finally give in and taste random things, one after the other.

In the middle of the square: chairs, tables, sofas, braseros (remember that it’s “winter” and about 15°C). There’s also what would be best described as a banquet table, neatly arranged, with wrapped silverware waiting to be used.

Progressively, more and more people arrive and it gets quite busy. I spend my time going from group to group, talking—and of course—eating. The problem with having so many food stands is that I want to try everything. And I kind of do, in the end.

The number of people grows. The size of my belly grows. Do you know what else grows? The sound volume, obviously. I mean, it’s actually quite reasonable for most of the night (it helps being outside), but when it’s time for people to dance, things get out of hand. 114dB-out-of-hand, to be precise. I wear earplugs, so I’m fine, although I’m a tad worried for the other people.

We’re all having a good time though, dancing and talking and eating.

After eating already way too much, there’s the cake.

(sorry, ate some before taking the picture)

At this point, it’s starting to get a bit late, past 11pm. Logic would say we’re done with the food, but no. Remember the banquet table? We’re invited to take a seat. Then the waiters come and circle the table, with food. We are maybe twenty people at the table, and the same number of waiters around us. I turn off a couple of them, but again, I give in, and find myself with a full plate in no time.

Indian food is certainly a bit repetitive and greasy, but it tastes good. It’s palatable. Mechanically, automatically, I eat—all the while lucid enough to realize I’ll regret it later. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten more in a single night than today!

Things die off around around 1am. I say goodbye to everybody, including M’s family. Some of them tell me something like “I hope you’re not too stressed about India anymore” on a joking tone. I feel a bit ridiculous! But they’re right.

There’s even one—that I just met in the past few days—who tells me she lives in Mumbai with her husband, and would be happy to host me if ever want to come. How nice is that?

Time to sleep. We’re leaving early tomorrow, for the best-known monument in India, and more…